From being toddlers we’re taught to think of others. To be kind to others. To work hard and to help other people. I agree with all those ideals 100%.
BUT
Very rarely are we taught to ever put ourselves first; to consider our own emotional and psychological needs.
The two concepts don’t need to be mutually exclusive, it should be perfectly feasible to do both – just maybe not at the same time. And that’s when the in-built, lifelong preachings rise up to the fore and we neglect our self in favour of someone else.
Sometimes that will be the right thing to do, but quite often it most definitely won’t be. And the longer it goes on the more it becomes the norm. Considering your own needs then starts to feel selfish or self-indulgent.
If you’re ready to right that balance, here’s the deal
First, my promise to you:
I’ll show up each week – be that in person on a live video or delivering a nugget of pure self-care gold into your inbox or into the private Facebook Hangout or maybe all three.
Now, your promise – also to you:
Your end of the deal is to give yourself permission to carve out a regular time each week for you. Of course you’ll be able to watch the videos and open the emails when you want, but I can’t stress enough how much more powerful it will be if you set aside a regular time to do this and absorb the learning or the message. It’ll range from a quick 5 minute read to a 30 minute session – make this your self-care time.
Put it in your calendar so it’s an actual thing and set that weekly recurring date. Family members will soon get used to you being ‘busy’ at that time just as they would if you were out at a meeting or a class, for example.
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I want you to get the most from this that you possibly can. I want more than anything to see you make progress to head steadily towards your self-care goals and all the benefits they bring. BUT I can’t do it for you – I can only give you the tools for you to work with.
Also think carefully about where you choose to spend this time to immerse yourself into your self-care time. Try to make it a pleasant environment. If you’re able to close yourself off in a quiet room where you can focus, reflect and create your vision, that’s great. Try and get someone to be on parent duty for that time (remember it’s only 30 minutes max) so you have no interruptions.
– Make it a comfortable, joyful space – no clutter. You can even temporarily relocate a house plant or vase of flowers from another room.
– Slide into your comfies – definitely change out of the clothes you’ve worn at work (even if these are comfy, you need to shift your mindset away from work – this is your self-care time). You might even allocate a set of clothes that become your self-care learning-time clothes.
– Grab a cuppa or a glass of something refreshing.
– Make sure the room temperature is comfortable for you – add a bit of hygge in winter with cosy blankets.
– Light a (scented) candle if you like – whatever makes you feel inspired. This may evolve as you go along your success path.
– Prepare any worksheets or get pen & paper ready before we start.
– Go to the loo – my friend Mel always says “You can’t work with your bladder on your head!”